Identity Crisis Ctd
For the last half hour I’ve been trying to focus and do some productive reading but it doesn’t seem to work so here I am, typing away to glory.
Earlier I spoke of my current identity crisis. Does your outward appearance also count when you think of your identity? After my AL’s I felt the need for a change in my life and given that it’s easier to change your appearance, I went for that. I cut my hair, switched from specs to contacts, made some changes to my wardrobe, re-painted my room (the cupboards are black and it’s gorgeous, I love it so much I just HAD to say that 
), bought a new phone, etc.
It didn’t necessarily give me a new identity but it made me feel that a new phase in my life had begun after the exam. And that was important to me because I’m the kind of person who needs a catalyst of some form to keep moving on and the “turned a new leaf” feeling will hopefully help me survive the next four or five years.
Call me weird but painting my room was actually symbolic to me for many reasons. It used to be purple, my former favourite colour. Gradually I started hating it and changing it to my now favourite colour, black, meant to me that I was done with a certain stage of my life. Also there were so many memories of a certain relationship, which had to be erased from that room because those memories kept haunting me to the point of depression. There was poetry that I wrote on the walls and the cupboards on impulse and those were covered in black and white with relish. Some of the times spent in my room were the happiest of my life for a while but they weren’t meant to be that way forever and they transformed themselves into the bitterest memories of my life. So painting my room was important to me. (You could call it a method of escapism as well I suppose)
I’m in the studying mood again so will complete this later.
